#80: The 2nd annual BNB thanks list
BNB's year in review is surprisingly moving (no, seriously)
First things first: Last month’s edition promised “the usual bullshit and the annual BNB thanks list,” but I’m only delivering the latter, thanks to an unexpected work project. But for December, I promise the usual bullshit and BNB’s annual Midnight Mass (roundup of Christmas music). And now, a look back at 2023.
Is it snark entrapment…
Every issue of Band Name Bureau is full of questionable choices, both by the selected artists and the person writing the newsletter. But beginning in March, something started to feel… off. Like the pigs were hot on my tail, feeding me artists with shticks that seemed too iffy. I called it snark entrapment.
There was the highly affected style of Oh Bummer!, seen in this Instagram video sporting a mullet-and-mustache combo, playing a ukulele, and rocking a stepdad-chic fit (with a dangly, golden cow earring). Suspicious.
Then, a couple of months later, we met Quazar & the Bamboozled. While it wasn’t surprising that this guy…
…released an album called The Lovely Lunatickle Musical Revue, but it was very suspicious.
Then, the very next month, came A Horse, A Spoon, A Bucket, with a concept-album-musical thing called “Adventures in Hill City!” (yes, with the quotation marks) featuring “a sorcerer who can also rock.” Just look at this:
If you’ll recall, I originally read AHASAB’s bio—“adventure pop, surrealist myth-wave”—as “adventure pop, surrealist mirth-wave.” Was it confirmation bias? Yes. Was it apropos? Absolutely.
Taken together, it had me like…
But just like John Nash’s secret drops in A Beautiful Mind, the snark entrapment wasn’t real. These are just artists with varying amounts of eccentricity. I even liked the button in the video for Oh Bummer!’s new song, “Swimming.”
…or is it a bit?
In August, we debuted the Band Name Bureau gameshow, HA-HA or UH-OH!, wherein we guess whether an artist is doing a bit or playing it straight. The subject of that first game was Male Tears, who have a songs with titles like “sad boy, paint my nails” and album covers like this:
But as we discovered, Male Tears are desperately sincere. So even if a song like “you are your posts,” released not long after they were featured in BNB, raises your suspicions, you must not give into them. No, you mustn’t, even if the lyrics are, “Follow you back / To know you well / So naturally unkind / Terminally online.” This is not melodramatic darkwave shtick—it’s just melodramatic darkwave.
Speaking of serious darkwave, we met Mensa Deathsquad in January. Although Brandon Phillips hilariously describes himself as “the Stanley Tucci of darkwave” in the TikTok below, he was utterly humorless while explaining the origins of his 2021 single “Famous” in a press release.
He went on and on about the stupidity of influencer culture (hot take!) with lines like “the dark side of personal branding and the culture of celebrity influencers and monetized social capital is literal fascism.” Darkwave Tooch is not a chill hang!
Shortly after that BNB, Mensa Deathsquad released a new full-length called Personal Book of Spells, but then things took a turn.
As Phillips explains in his TikTok, he relapsed into a “particularly searing drug addiction” and spent most of 2023 “trying to claw it back together.”
So here I am, tra-la-la, funnin’ on band names then getting FUCKING GUTTED by what he says: “If you see me playing a show, if you see me on stage, if you see me on TikTok doing this while I’m working on music, that’s really me trying to save my own life.”
Watch the whole thing. He ends it by saying, “If you’ve got a warm wish to spare, send it my way. I’ll need it.”
Please take all of ours, DW Tooch.
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The new standard bearers of awfulness
I love music festival season—less because of the events themselves and more because of the smorgasbord of names. As I write this, I’ve already saved lineups for six 2024 festivals to scour ahead of next spring’s dispatch from festival season.
One of the biggies out there is Primavera Sound, which takes place in Barcelona every year. It always has an impressive array of artists, and not just the same ones you find at every other big fest. For instance, where else could you have been flummoxed by ¥///0 $#£[[ \/\/&$ #£>3?
That question mark is part of the sentence, not the group’s name, by the way. As I noted in this year’s festival dispatch, the only appropriate reaction to it is “Oh fuck off.”
The assertion holds, although I respect the group’s dedication to anonymity. That name nullifies all search functions—Google, social media, music platforms, etc. ChatGPT is also stumped:
It seems like you’re referring to a combination of symbols that might represent something specific. However, without additional context or information, it’s challenging to decipher the meaning behind these characters. It’s possible that it could be a code, a placeholder for something, or perhaps part of a language or system I’m not familiar with. If you could provide more details or clarify the context, I’d be happy to try to help further!
Sure, ChatGPT! ¥///0 $#£[[ \/\/&$ #£>3 is a duo from Great Britain that played the 2023 Primavera Sound festival.
Ah, it seems like you're talking about the British musical duo known as ¥///0 $#£[[ //&$ #£>3, pronounced “Yasuko and the Noise.” They create experimental electronic music that blends various genres, incorporating elements of glitch, ambient, and industrial sounds. Their style often involves unconventional compositions and a mix of distorted vocals and innovative electronic arrangements.
Performing at the Primavera Sound festival in Barcelona in 2023 would have been a significant platform for them, as it’s a renowned music festival showcasing diverse artists from different genres and backgrounds. Their presence there might indicate their growing popularity within the experimental music scene or their appeal to a wider audience appreciative of avant-garde music.
¥///0 $#£[[ //&$ #£>3 has been known for pushing the boundaries of traditional music, embracing technology, and creating an immersive and unique sonic experience for their audience.
I think I just helped end the world? (For what it’s worth, I can’t find any info about Yasuko and the Noise, either.)
This is not what you imagined
Band Name Bureau is full of surprises. Who would’ve expected We Don’t Ride Llamas to look like this?
Or Flat Girther to look like this?
In Flat Girther’s case, maybe that was a problem? Their Insta account is now private. Intrigue!
POST-SCRIPTS
Oh Bummer!, Quazar & the Bamboozled, A Horse A Spoon A Bucket, and Male Tears all hail from Los Angeles. Hollyweird, amirite?
In July, We Don’t Ride Llamas were raising $60,000 to record an album. At the time I published, they had raised $1,000, and the campaign ended with a scant $1,075. They eked out an EP though.
Wow, I’d forgotten that John Nash died in 2015 when he (and his wife) were ejected from a cab in a car crash. Wear seat belts, everybody.
In April I noted that I’d be switching up BNB’s publishing schedule and included this 💀💀💀 clip from Station Eleven. It still makes me laugh out loud.
Hey speaking of that new publishing scheme, I’m going to continue tinkering with BNB’s format. I’m not sure what that means, exactly. In the meantime:
And I’ll see you in a couple weeks.