#116: Almost Named: The Hookers, Witch Doctors, and more
A new series about the names bands used—or almost used—before fame.
Every famous band has a name that almost happened—or did happen, for a minute.
As a scholar of the band-name craft, my interest goes beyond the names artists chose. I want to know the names they considered and/or the names they went by before violating the first rule of Band Name Bureau.1
For up-and-coming or lesser-known bands, it’s not a big deal. For instance, learning that Winona Fighter considered the name Beijing Beef is funny, but not OMG-level.
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But even the most famous bands may not be all that interesting. The proper response to the Beatles’ earliest name, the Quarrymen, is a non-committal “Hmm.” My brain is fully desensitized. I’m more interested in how they briefly went by Johnny and the Moondogs.
Hence Almost Named, BNB’s new occasional series. I’m digging into the precursors, the alternate names, and the monikers artists considered before settling on the one they became famous with. I’ve created a list of 200+ bands—past and present—to investigate and will periodically return with the stories I’ve found.
That’s presuming there is a story, because that’s not always the case. ABBA originally went by Björn & Benny, Agnetha & Anni-Frid, the four members’ first names. Then they rearranged the first letters into a palindrome. FASCINATING!
Let’s begin.
The Hookers → Aerosmith
If you’ve spent time with the cock-rockin’ sounds of Steven Tyler and Aerosmith, it will not surprise you that Tyler suggested the Hookers as a potential group name. In his 2011 memoir, Does the Noise in My Head Bother You?, Tyler says they also considered Stit Jane (no idea what that means), and various sources on the internet say Spike Jones and the Bananas were also considered. (That’s two names: Spike Jones, then the Bananas—though “Spike Jones and the Bananas” isn’t any worse.)
Before you judge Tyler, he’ll have you know that the Hookers name was commentary, man.
“I’d thought of calling us the Hookers because I considered playing clubs a form of prostitution—I’d spent six years playing clubs in New York and knew how exhausting and frustrating it was.”
The band didn’t go for it. Drummer Joey Kramer suggested Arrowsmith after the Sinclair Lewis novel they’d read in high school,2 and Tyler suggested spelling it A-E-R-O because it evoked space “aerodynamics, supersonic thrust, Mach II, the sound barrier.”
It’s safe to assume Tyler describes his own thrusting skills as “supersonic.”
Fellini’s Children → The B-52’s
Why would rock’s foremost purveyors of camp nearly name themselves after iconic Italian director Federico Fellini, who was known for “deeply personal films [that] were vivid, sometimes bizarre portraits of the human condition”?
“Vivid”? “Sometimes bizarre”? Those descriptors fit the group that came together in the college town of Athens, Georgia, in the mid-’70s. Being a bunch of artsy weirdos in the conservative South, they were naturally cineastes.
“That was the thing in college. It seemed like everyone watched those films,” singer Kate Pierson recently said on the Revolutions Per Movie podcast. “You went to see Bergman and Fellini and Antonioni and Kurosawa.”
Theme parties followed. Jeremy Ayers, a Warhol associate and Factory personality, had returned to his hometown of Athens around this time and befriended the group. “We’d go to see a Fellini film and he’d have a party where we dress as Fellini characters,” Pierson says.
Characters they inhabited in the B-52’s too. She added that Fellini heavily inspired music for “Planet Claire” and the video for “Deadbeat Club.”
The band also considered the name Tina-Trons, whose origins I can’t ascertain.3 In the end, they settled on slang for the beehive wigs they wore in the band’s early days, leaving Federico Fellini childless.
Tribal Nation → Atban Klann → The Black Eyed Peas
Can we blame Eazy-E for “My Humps”? In a way, yes. The late N.W.A. icon and Ruthless Records founder signed Tribal Nation, the earliest incarnation of the Black Eyed Peas with teenagers will.i.am and apl.de.ap.
After signing, the group changed their name to Atban Klann, the first word standing for “A Tribe Beyond a Nation,” because early ’90s. The future Peas looked to A Tribe Called Quest and De La Soul more than the sounds coming out of their hometown of LA. Instead of gangsta rap, they favored “post-Daisy Age rapping with a modicum of social commentary added into the grooves,” according to Daryl Easlea’s book, Let’s Get It Started: The Rise & Rise of the Black Eyed Peas. That seems…off-brand for Eazy-E?
Although Atban Klann befuddled the staff at Ruthless, Eazy saw commercial potential. The group recorded their debut, Grass Roots and released a single called “Puddles of H20”—then nothing happened. The album sat on the shelf4 for nearly two years when Eazy died in March 1995.
As Ruthless fell apart, Atban Klann was eager to move on. Because the label owned the name, they re-emerged as the Black Eyed Peas. (They also considered Blue Unit and Turquoise Vines, because they were in their Blue Period, I guess?)
“[The bean’s] white appearance with a black speck in the middle seemed to symbolise the sort of music that the group was intending to make: soulful, multi-racial, unifying, warming,” Easlea writes. “It also had a ring to it of the multi-platinum selling Red Hot Chili Peppers.”
So wait, we can blame Eazy-E and the Red Hot Chili Peppers?
Tony Flow and the Miraculously Majestic Masters of Mayhem → Red Hot Chili Peppers
These fucking guys.
Unique Attraction → Boyz II Men
Shawn Stockman of Boyz II Men is so embarrassed by the group’s original name that he went public with his struggle to People magazine. “Ugh, so gross! It was such a Philadelphia name,” he said. “If you grew up in Philadelphia, you know exactly what I’m talking about. It was cheesy, but it was the vibe back then.” Good thing a New Edition song inspired a name change so they could make this video, which is definitely not cheesy at all!
Richard and the Rabbits → Cap’n Swing → The Cars
The Cars is a shrug of a name—and that was the point, according to drummer David Robinson. “It was easy to remember, and it wasn’t pegged to a specific decade or sound,” he told The Wall Street Journal. “The name was meaningless and conjured up nothing, which was perfect.”
Perfect for you. We here at Band Name Bureau hold artists to a HIGHER STANDARD, celebrating the genius Happy Mother’s Day, I Can’t Read. Look into it, legendary drummer of an iconic rock band!
Robinson’s first band was the Modern Lovers, and the story goes that Jonathan Richman bestowed Richard and the Rabbits upon Ric Ocasek and Ben Orr’s early project. Sometime in 1975 they changed it to Cap’n Swing5 for reasons I haven’t been able to uncover. It only lasted a year before the sweet, forgettable simplicity of the Cars took over for good. Or until the New Cars enjoyed a brief, embarrassing run.
Witch Doctors of Zimbabwe → New Order
Listen, the former members of Joy Division6 had just been through something traumatic. Ian Curtis killed himself on the eve of a big U.S. tour, leaving the three remaining members suddenly adrift—down a friend and collaborator, and without a future that had looked so bright.
They were vulnerable as they embarked on a new identity, so we can’t hold them responsible for liking the Witch Doctors of Zimbabwe. To be fair, only drummer Stephen Morris and manager Rob Gretton liked it. Bassist Peter Hook and guitarist Bernard Sumner vowed to quit if they used it, as they charmingly discuss in the excellent podcast Transmissions: The Definitive Story of Joy Division and New Order.
Morris also suggested Sunshine Valley Dance Band, and Gretton had a whole list of potential names: Mau Mau, Dead End, Theatre of Cruelty, Sons of God, Maxim Gorky, Angry Brigade, Khmer Rouge, and the New Order of the Kampuchean Front. (“They were all terrorist organizations, which was the odd thing,” Hook says.)
Eventually they chose the New Order, but because an MC5/Stooges spinoff group used that name, they simplified it to New Order. Thus Ian Curtis’ tortured soul was freed of some torment, as his former bandmates didn’t call themselves the Witch Doctors of Zimbabwe.
Transistor Revolt → Rise Against
These punk lifers had questionable names in their past—like 88 Fingers Louie and Pinhead Circus—as their new band took shape in the early ’00s. They recorded early demos under the name Transistor Revolt, which was fine until they signed to Fat Wreck Chords. Label co-founder and NOFX frontman Fat Mike didn’t like the name, and he suggested some alternatives. As bassist Joe Principe told me for their vinyl box set:
“What about the Chicago Tar?” I’d go, “There’s a band from Chicago called Tar.” Then he’s like, “What about It’s the Cops?” I’m like “Nope. We’re not naming the band It’s the Cops. That’s ridiculous.” At one point, he had the name Jimmy Cracked Corn and the I Don’t Cares. I was like “Oh my God, we’re not doing that.”
The group’s first drummer had suggested Rise Against, which the band had back-pocketed just in case. Everyone was on board with that one, and they all learned a valuable lesson: Don’t listen to name suggestions from a guy who called his band NOFX.7
POST-SCRIPTS
My first arena show: The B-52’s on the Cosmic Thing tour, with Toad the Wet Sprocket opening.
Other than the song “Puddles of H20,” Atban Klann’s only other official appearance was on an Eazy-E Christmas song called “Merry Muthafuckin’ Xmas.” As you can imagine, it’s embarrassing for everyone involved.
According to the Last.fm wiki, Tony Flow and the Miraculously Majestic Masters of Mayhem was a joke name for a one-off show: “The band improvised music while Kiedis rapped a poem he had written called ‘Out in L.A.’” Funny enough, that’s my exact description of hell on earth. Hamish Duncan’s Out in L.A.: The Red Hot Chili Peppers, 1983 suggests there was a little more to it than that, but enough people liked them that they became a real band and changed their name—first to the Flow, then eventually RHCP.
The “Motownphilly” video gives me another chance to shout out Dave Holmes’ great limited podcast, Waiting for Impact. It’s his investigation into the mysterious white randos who appeared in the video for a second, then were basically never heard from again.
Never change your name.
Wikipedia describes it as an “early major novel dealing with the culture of science.” Just what you associate with Aerosmith.
It was picked up by a cover band in Montreal that specializes in “the Post Punk and New Wave bands of the early 80’s.” Which includes a cover of “Roam” by the B-52’s.
I had a eureka moment with this, thinking it inspired Cap’n Jazz. That would’ve been a deep pull for Midwestern teenagers in the ’90s, but supposedly it originates from a more logical place: Cap’n Crunch cereal.
Who had previously gone by the names Warsaw and, for one show, Stiff Kitten.
To be fair to Mike, he knows this. “You only get one chance, and I can say that because the name of my band is terrible. It really is a terrible, terrible name.”
Excellent opener!
If the KLF isn’t on your list, I’d like to hear the story of their names. Does it count if they use them all?
Here for this!!!